101 Things you (probably) don't know about me.

(Originally posted 2/13/2008, elsewhere)

1. I love science fiction and fantasy.
2. I love my hair. I’m not one of those girls that are never satisfied. Barring a few bad hair cuts, I think I should be a breck girl.
3. I think girls who say they aren’t satisfied with themselves are mostly lying.
4. I am naturally more blonde than anything else. But I always felt like a brunette on the inside.
5. I am more conservative than I let on.
6. And less.
7. I have a fine collection of glitter. Unusual colors of glitter. Black, bronze, chocolate, copper… in addition to the normal ones.
8. I bite my nails when I’m angry, not nervous.
9. I weigh myself every day, sometimes more than once.
10. I love my son, but I do not worship him.
11. I like to cook; I just don’t like having to cook.
12. I love to bake. As long as I have a good oven.
13. I fancy myself accomplished, in the Austen sense of the word.
14. I have a dirty mouth. Yet I find, lately, it’s cleaner than most of my friends.
15. I like to throw things at the wall.
16. I secretly don’t care that I didn’t finish college. I feel like I should care, but I really don’t.
17. My recall for numbers is unusually accurate.
18. I’m over roses. For heaven’s sake I’m the child of a florist.
19. If you must by me flowers, make them live orchids.
20. I love the sound of breaking glass.
21. I love the smell of dirt.
22. I have always liked to kiss a guy and have it taste like beer and cigarettes.
23. Obviously, my love of bad boys runs deep. I didn’t cultivate it… it just happened.
24. If I wasn’t so concerned with not breaking my mother’s heart, I would have more tattoos.
25. Sometimes I wish it was 1950 and I didn’t have to be a modern woman
26. But I know my spirit would wither without the independence.
27. I often say I have a problem with authority as though I’m joking. I’m not.
28. I always fall in love with the lead singer at a concert. Seriously, do not leave me unattended, if I was caught before the effects wore off, I’d run away with them and have their babies.
29. My current idea of perfect romance is a night alone to take a bath, paint my toenails, reread Pride and Prejudice and drink wine.
30. I have no tolerance for drug use. It is not a rite of passage; it doesn’t make you tragic and vulnerable because you’re addicted. It just makes you a junkie.
31. I do, however, have great respect for people who overcome addiction.
32. The only things I’ve ever been addicted to are love and caffeine.
33. I wish I could be a hippie sometimes.
34. Sometimes, a hipster.
35. I love to watch ballet. It makes me cry.
36. So does good opera.
37. The Reality TV bug never bit me. I like sarcasm and dark humour, but negativity at that concentration makes me fear for the future of civilization.
38. I would not know if there was never another sporting event for all of eternity.
39. Except hockey, because my family would fall to pieces over it.
40. I believe the Bible.
41. I do not like going to Church, though I wish I did.
42. My feet are adorable.
43. I’m sick of weddings, and they’re my job.
44. I’ll feel differently about that come spring.
45. I think hip-hop is disgusting and should be boycotted.
46. But I don’t believe in censorship.
47. I tried for years to like cocktails, but I don’t.
48. I only like 2 kinds of alcohol. Wine and Guinness.
49. And good vodka.
50. I like birds. I got that from my mom.
51. I dream about birds in cages almost every night.
52. I still like to play dress up.
53. I wish there were more occasions to wear pearls.
54. And aprons.
55. And fishnets.
56. But not together. On second thought...
57. I think candles should be lit on a semi-regular basis. I theorize that they are like vehicles, and need to be started to stay in working order.
58. I wish I were brave enough to decorate with bold colors.
59. Yet whenever I do work up the nerve, I end up regretting it.
60. I am constantly reminding myself of Coco Chanel’s philosophy on accessories… look in the mirror once you’ve finished dressing, and remove one item.
61. I also believe it applies to decorating your home.
62. I use green, biodegradable, non toxic, earth friendly cleaning products.
63. And aerosol hairspray. I think they removed all the worst chemicals years ago.
64. I love Hello Kitty.
65. And pink… but I never wear it. Well, unless you count undergarments.
66. 99% of my wardrobe is black.
67. But my shoes are black, red, white, pink, blue and leopard. And so on.
68. I have scores of beautiful vintage costume jewelry, which is probably not worth a dime, but is also among my most prized possessions.
69. I drink a lot of green tea, for the health benefits. I actually don’t enjoy it very much.
70. I don’t think I’m a very good artist, but I have every intention of making a living at it someday.
71. I don’t long to live at the beach, or in the mountains. I like being nestled somewhere in the middle.
72. Men with weak handshakes strike me as pathetic.
73. But I’d rather not shake hands at all… even some of the gentler ones hurt my hands. Damn arthritis.
74. My stationery collection is enviable.
75. I dare not calculate how much money I spend on lip gloss.
76. I’m beginning to collect wedding cake toppers. Why not?
77. I bought a rosary at the Vatican, and although I’m not Catholic, it means a great deal to me that it was blessed by the Pope.
78. I sometimes envy the rituals and ceremonies of other religions, though I don’t like to be tied to too much tradition myself.
79. Although I make lovely cakes, I do not eat them. 7 years of consistently smelling baking cakes satisfied that appetite.
80. If I can’t sleep, or I’m in pain, I imagine myself floating on the waves like a seagull.
81. I’d rather be in the water than on dry land.
82. I have no use for snow.
83. In my mind, I refer to my home as the Lavender House. As in the flower, not the color.
84. I do not wish I was a princess. Or famous. Rich maybe.
85. I’m over diamonds too. I know…the mind reels.
86. I got a terrible nosebleed in the French Alps, that lasted for hours and hours.
87. I know exactly what mascara, lipstick, shampoo, conditioner, lotion and bras I like. That makes me feel like a grown up.
88. I look forward to turning 30.
89. I sometimes fear that I’m a terrible mother because my world doesn’t revolve around my son. But I actually think that makes me a better one.
90. My heart does, however, revolve around him, in a way.
91. I try not to judge, but I am endlessly disappointed with women who do not breast feed their babies.
92. I think selfishness it as the root of all sins.
93. I enjoy scrubbing floors. Not often, but thoroughly.
94. I can’t stand Oprah, Hilary Clinton or Kelly Ripa. What kind of woman am I?
95. I know every single word to every single song on the You’ve Got Mail soundtrack. Including “Never Smile at a Crocodile.”
96. I tried to climb Halfdome but didn’t quite make it to the top, because I lost a toenail. (It’s a lot worse than it sounds!)
97. I smoked for approximately two weeks, while traveling through Italy, and it almost killed me because
98. I have asthma.
99. I think my son is prettier than me.
100. I like plain popcorn with olive oil and balsamic vinegar.
101. I don’t know how I survived before my ipod.