Bats in the Attic...

and a bun in the oven.

Yes, I'm referring to myself.

Lo, the previously mentioned personal announcement: I am with child. Expecting. Knocked up (can you be knocked up if you're married? I'm not sure about that.)

Or, as one friend refers to it "sick with baby," as seen in a poorly translated foreign film or something.

I've been too "sick with cold" this week for this to completely sink in, but rest assured that my husband and I are delighted and thankful and feeling very blessed.

If you can be just a tiny bit pregnant, then that is what I am. It is very early. In fact, our original intention was to wait a bit longer to share our news with those outside the family. But, as my doting husband is prone to unbridled enthusiasm when he is happy or excited, there was a wee slip-up that resulted in him announcing the pregnancy via his status on Myspace to his 120-odd closest friends, family, musicians and comedians. These of course included probably upwards of 50 mutual friends, many of whom were my best friends and close family members who hadn't yet heard the news. I've decided to find this endearing and innocent, which it certainly was, but I also figured... hey, I have an even bigger audience! With even fewer people I know!

So, there you have it. That's the rationale behind announcing my pregnancy via blog. I promise to share a lot of my joy and none of my ultrasound pictures.

And now you understand why I have bats in my attic, too.

That Fickle Muse Again

No sooner did I decide I was going to add a new blog to house my personal political snarkiness than I completely lost my inspiration, and very nearly my stomach for politics, in one fell swoop. All of the vapid celebrities peddling their Obama hype and Palin-as-the-personification-of-stupidity sound-bytes have finally drained me of my good humour over all of this. I hope my will to overthrow the heights of liberal arrogance with sarcasm and a smile will one day return, but for the time being I have other things on my mind. Look forward to a personal announcement.

XO,
Elizabeth

No Cats in America and No Crackheads in Alaska

Ahhh, Diddy. You make this too easy.

Here's a little bit of Sean Diddy, never-ending font of wisdom Combs' take on the Palin nod. If you want to watch the actual video, be forwarned that it is littered with f-bombs and brain-exhausting ignorance.

"You are buggin'. I don't even understand what planet you are on right now"

"This is the job to be the leader of the free world, OK? No disrespect. I love you. I want you to live to be 110. But things happen. What if God forbid, you got a running mate, you become president ... Alaska? Alaska? I don't even know if there's any black people in Alaska."

"Lady's nice, she's cool ... she's a heartbeat away. She's gonna be on the phone with South Korea. I mean, what in the hell ... Alaska? You should've gotten Michelle Obama to be your running mate. Now that would have been something strategic and fly. This one right here, is not respectful of our lives, diverse lives."

"You my man, God bless you. You're a great war hero, but you are bugging the F---out."

"I'm going to bring millions out to the polls November 4 to make sure the young people ... come out and get busy on ya'll asses on November 4th ... Alaska? What is the reality in Alaska. There's not even crackheads in Alaska ... no black people. No crime."

Is that anything like "there are no cats in America?" Yes, the was a Fievel reference. Oh boy.

John McCain. Are you listening? Michelle Obama! Why didn't you think of that?! That would, indeed, have been fly. And also, what if you do not live to be 110, and you die in office and this woman, this lowly governor, is forced to talk on the PHONE with SOUTH Korea? South KOREA?!?

You've been put on notice Sen. McCain and Gov. Palin: the youth of America are going to get busy on your a**es at the polls, per request of Sean Combs, if we're going to use "government names." Consider yourselves warned.

I don't, I can't... I'm just at a loss for words. Diddy, it really takes the wind out of of my sails when you're so ignorant and yet pompous that you effectively mock yourself.

I love election years. And rappers. Oh, the love.

Why Gov. Palin's Daughter's Pregnancy has Nothing to do with Politics

And so it begins.

If you're reading this, you obviously have access to the information super-highway we call the internet, which means that by now you already know that Gov. Palin's 17 year old daughter is five months pregnant. There's a lot of speculation about whether this will hurt the McCain campaign. It's understandable, if unfortunate, that this is up for discussion. No doubt there are people who care. I suppose that makes it news. Or, as it seems to be in the world of news blogging, blood in the water.

The following is a comment from an AOL News blog:

"Bohio65 07:32 PMSep 01 2008

This is just ONE of many cans of worms about that lady.McCain wanted to use her for political gain. She is quickly becoming a political EMBARASSMENT for him. I salute McCain's poor judgment. If she cannot watch over her own 17 y.o. daughter, how can she watch over us as vice president. I have made up my mind: I will vote for Obama /McCain. I will not take any chance with her." (sic)

I'm happy to acknowledge the widely accepted truth that there are lots of idiots who post comments on those blogs. Not on mine. Never on mine. But on posts such as the one in question, this was tame in comparison with the multitudes of other hate-filled, incoherent, profanity-laced responses. I just chose this one because, after activating my brain's hand dandy Stupid-Filter, I could decipher enough to formulate a rebuttal. And I chose to take it on here, rather than in the ever-engaging debate format of the unmoderated blog comments for the same reason I won't argue with my two year old son: You can't argue with someone who is immune to or unaware of reason and logic.

In order to prevent idiocy-brain-freeze, I'm going to take this on in small bites instead of one big scoop of stupid.

My line by line responses: (perhaps the easiest rebuttal ever attempted)

"This is just ONE of many cans of worms about that lady.McCain wanted to use her for political gain."

I'm going to follow that display of ignorance with a question: Should a presidential candidate select a running mate for political loss? By extension, does that means Sen. McCain should have called up Bret Michaels and said, "Dude, do you think you could put Rock of Love: Season XVI on hold for four to eight years and instead come cruise for skanks in D.C. on the taxpayers' dime? I think the public will really hate you. It's a match made in heaven."

And also, sucky grammar. No, I don't think it warrants proper speech or complete sentences.

"She is quickly becoming a political EMBARASSMENT for him. I salute McCain's poor judgment."

Embarrassment and poor judgement can be overcome. For example, statistically, you are probably married.

"If she cannot watch over her own 17 y.o. daughter, how can she watch over us as vice president."

Thank goodness she isn't running for Vice President of Preventing Premarital Sex. We might be in the clear. Seriously, though, Princes William and Harry have some of the highest expectations of any official progeny in the world, along with what must certainly be the most sophisticated security detail, and the most intense scrutiny. And that hasn't prevented them from drinking, landing helicopters at their girlfriends' houses, sporting Nazi uniforms or otherwise "carousing." I daresay the governor of Alaska has significantly fewer resources. Furthermore, let's assume this young lady knew the consequences that having a child out of wedlock would have in her mother's career, in addition to her own life. Let us also assume that she was well aware of the attention she would be destined to draw as the daughter of the governor, even without the added curiosity incurred by a vice presidential hopeful. Given those factors, she could have chosen to have an abortion. Her suffering would have been internal, leaving her mother unscathed and her private mistakes private. But she bravely chose to tell her parents and eventually the world, and have the baby. This reflects not only on her own maturity, but also on her security in her parents' unconditional love and forgiveness. It is a sad but inevitable truth that the ugly secrets of public families that are swept under the rug are virtually without consequences, and the ones that are handled with grace, integrity and transparency are exploited for adversarial sensationalism, but is has nothing to do with the office of Vice President.

"I have made up my mind: I will vote for Obama /McCain. I will not take any chance with her."

You do that. I'm sure the people in the Obama/McCain camp will appreciate your vote.